I need some clarification as to what she expects out of this revision (ie, how much do I need to change for it to count as a new submission?), but here's what I think I need to do at this point:
- Add more of a crisis point. I think I can do this by taking into account some of my mentor's other suggestions, including:
*Create a better balance between the two plots: Harold and Susan's problems with her husband. I can do this by clueing the reader in to the husband problems much earlier on than I do now, and by introducing the idea of a deadline to figure out her marriage earlier.
* Bring the father into the story more.
*Develop all the secondary characters more.