Monday, October 23, 2006

My weekend: a recap and some lessons

My weekend was a good one overall, but I definitely ignored a few things, mostly my writing. I did not do my morning pages (gasp!). And, because I was slightly ahead of my MFA schedule, I didn't work on that stuff as much as I could've. I did come up with a new story idea that I am excited about, but that's about it.

Taking a few days off isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I woke up Monday morning feeling drained, and I think not writing was part of that.
(Another part of that was staying out one hour and one beer too late on Sunday night...)

But the biggest lesson I learned was really a re-teaching of a lesson I already know: It's OK to say no to things. Even things you might want to do.

My weekend was already a busy one when I got invited to brunch and pumpkin picking on Sunday. I love brunch, and I love fall, so it was hard to say no. But mostly it was hard because the friend who invited me (L) also invited a friend of hers who I met at L's wedding. Let's call this friend C. I liked C and her husband, and so did Brian. It turned out that they lived near us, so we exchanged info and we all went out for a drink a few weeks ago. The couple had a habit of constantly interrupting and correcting one another, but otherwise seemed pleasant. Though part of me got a small feeling that I didn't like something about C. But still, I was happy to be given the chance to hang out with her again with L. So happy that I said yes even though I was looking forward to a morning of sleeping and relaxing.

So off to L's house C and I go, and when we get up to L's porch, I'm a few steps behind C. And that's when the first aggravating incident occurs: She lets L's door slam right in my face, without so much as a backwards glance or "I'm sorry". Forgivable? Of course. But not when coupled with this odd aggressive manner she had all day, where she made it seem like we were all in some competition to prove that our life was better than everyone else's. For example, she name-dropped Tiffany's more than once over breakfast when talking about her engagement ring. And she's been married for years. Why would anyone need to know where you bought your wedding ring?

And the worst part? What she brought out in me. First, I became bitchy, not responding warmly to her, and being slightly mocking when she said we had to hurry up because her husband missed her after we'd only been gone a few hours. Then, I got mad at myself for being a bitch and I ended up giving into her pushiness and know-it-allism, kind of deferring to her authority on things I knew she knew no more about than I.

So, lessons:
1-Go with your gut. I was pretty sure I didn't like her after our bar date, so I definitely shouldn't have gone out of my way to hang out with her.

2- I can be very forgiving to friends--overlooking the occasional bout of self-absorption, flakiness, moodiness, whininess, self-pity, etc. But the common element in people I want in my life is that being around them brings out the best in me. So if you turn me into a bitch, I will not be your friend.

3- Always make time for writing.

(Pics: Top two from the Life is Good Pumpkin Fest, bottom two from the farm where we got pumpkins. I so want a pet goat!) Best Blogger Tips


Repeater said...

I love this post. I find more and more I mustturn down social events in order to write and feel sane. I like your honesty. I've been there-There's lots of people I can't stand!

Anonymous said...

That's a great lesson. Remember you said that as we go along, the people who don't bring out the best in us will fall away. There are lots of choices. C bites the dust...

GoGo said...

good lessons. I have forgotten this on more then one occassion. In fact, I realized this last month with some folks. It can be hard though, for me. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but really I need to trust myself to let go. I really am a better person by doing this, then by sticking around.

Your post reminds me to just let go of the bad mojo kind of folks.

As for the keeps me sane too, even if its journaling.

Look forward to reading more of your work!

FatCharlatan said...

I, too, love how honest this post is (you definitely have the soul for non-fiction writing as well as fiction).