Sunday, August 10, 2008

Funk

Like Poetmom, I'm in a bit of a writer's funk. I've been having a very stressful summer for reasons I don't want to go into, and I think all of this stress is taking its toll in a few ways: I'm really moody and prone to crying at just about any moment, and I feel too emotionally tired to write. Because writing, I'm noticing for probably the millionth time, takes a lot of emotional energy. Just beating back those critics who sit on my shoulder mumbling, "You're wasting your time. This scene is stupid, you're going to cut it anyway, just stop writing," takes a lot of energy. And i'm afraid I just don't have it right now.

But the bigger conundrum is that I know that not writing isn't going to make me feel any better. In fact, it's going to make me feel worse. So I'm going to make myself follow a new routine. I'm hoping that, like with going to the gym, dragging my butt to the page will get easier and easier each day.

New Plan
* Go to sleep by 10. Stress is tiring, and therfore I need more sleep. Being in bed by 10 means that I'll actually be asleep by 11, which means that I'll actually get 8 hours of sleep.

*Write everyday. At least 15 minutes each week day, and 2 hours each weekend day. I'm hoping that the small weekday goal will lead to longer writing jags, but I don't want to set the bar too high and then just give up.

*Concentrate more at work. I end up wasting too much time at work, and then feel guilty and stay late to get things done. I'm going to disable my work IM, which we all really use to chat rather than for work. And I'm going to limit my online breaks to 10 minute chunks of time. No more getting sucked into one website, and then another... Best Blogger Tips

4 comments:

bostonerin said...

Good luck, Bug! I can imagine how exhausted you are. I hope you're doing some journaling...or perhaps bring back the morning pages to count as your 15 minutes? That way, there's no pressure about producing something "valuable."

Hang in there--this, too, shall pass!

Becca said...

I've been dealing with similar issues this summer, although August seems to be more inspiring. I agree about getting enough sleep. I'm often guilty of staying up too late, and then feeling tired and dragged out the next day.

Morning pages are my way to keep the pen going when the mind isn't all that willing. Just writing something makes me feel at least a bit productive.

My post-MFA life: said...

Thank you both for your comments! I have started morning pages back up again, and that is helping, I think. I also spent 2 hours writing on Sunday and though most of the time was spent proverbially banging my head against the computer and feeling pretty miserable about it, I did get one gem of a sentence/idea out of the whole experience and that has been inspiring.

TI said...

Once again you have outlined goals that I too want to adopt.

There was an error in this gadget