risky behavior

I don't know about you, but it's hard for me to think about the makers of the TV show Lost as risk takers. Not because their show wasn't new and different and brave, but because by the time I heard of it, it was already so successful. It's hard to remember that there was ever a point where the people behind thriving creative entities were struggling and scared, just like those of us who are in the pre-pre-pre success phase of the game are.

Reading this interview with Carlton Cuse, one of Lost's executive producer's, reminded me of that point. And it also left me with this great quote to share with y'all:

"...to succeed as an artist or in any creative endeavor you must shed your fear...if you are not prepared to fail you will not create anything of lasting artistic value."

Book review: Reading as a Writer-style

Book Title: The Kitchen God's Wife

Author: Amy Tan

Themes: Mother/Daughter relationships, bad marriages, Chinese/American cultures

Styles worth noting: The point of view shifts--the first and last chapters are told from the daughter's POV, the rest of the book is told from the mother's POV. This is important because the mother's story impacts how the daughter sees her, which the reader can clearly tell from the daughter's chapters. The middle chapters are told as if the mother is talking to the daughter (ie, using second person).

What I learned from the book:
Even though you know the ending from the beginning--that the mother got away from her awful first husband, got to America, and married a nice man--the book still kept you on edge wondering how she got from an awful situation in China to a much better one in America. It's a good example of how you can still have tension and drama even if the reader knows how the story turns out.

The Kitchen God's Wife is also a good example of how using multiple points of view can switch the reader's sympathy--at first, the mom seems annoying and the reader sympathizes with the daughter (at least I did). But then as the mom is telling her story, you switch allegiances and sympathize with the mother.

Tan also makes the most of every detail she mentions--foods, decorations, clothes, etc. It seemed like just about anything she mentioned offhandedly on one page got brought up again later, in a meaningful way.

Have you read anything good lately, so good you learned a lot from it?

I felt such a sense of relief when I read this

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
— Albert Einstein

It actually brings tears to my eyes. Think it's a sign I should stop worrying about all the trees I can't climb and focus instead on how well I can swim? Methinks it might be...

What are your trees vs. streams? Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Re-re-revising

I keep setting these deadlines for when I'll have a draft of my novel done (er, a second draft--I finished a first draft a while back, but I forgot to celebrate on here, or really anywhere. It felt awfully anti-climatic, like getting the first coat of paint down on the outside of the White House, knowing that coats two, three, and four and then all that touch up work still await you).

And the deadlines keep whizzing past. It's not because I'm lazy, mind you. It's not even because life keeps getting in the way (not most of the time, anyway). It's because every time I think I know what I'm doing with the novel, something sticks up from the page and reminds me that while I may be holding the reigns, the 300 page/pound beast I'm riding is really in control.

First it was an idea for a new crisis point that I got from a great book, Writing a Breakout Novel, lent to me by the brilliant Robyn Bradley. The book was really helpful as I thought about how to pump up the conflict as I revised, and how to make my characters more realistic. I forget exactly what words of Maass's triggered the epiphany that my main character has to have conflict with some of the people she is closest to, instead of just the "villain" of the book. But whatever words they were, they were both very illuminating, and very much a pain in the ass, since that meant undoing and redoing a lot of the manuscript. (All for a good cause--a better product--of course.)

Next came a point of view shift (from third to first). It felt felt right, but it meant changing the point of view in the ENTIRE BOOK. And that's not as easy as just changing all the "she"s to "I"s, either. It means changing anything that sounds like it's in a narrator's voice to be in a first-person character's voice.

Lastly--for now--came a great idea from a friend and fellow writer who is reading the manuscript, who suggested I make some structural changes. Just a little bit of moving this there, and that here, and this over there... Of course each of those changes means that something else has to move or change. It's like a giant game of Twister, or Jenga, or name your other favorite game where things are tenuous and may fall apart any second.

But, just like those games, revising is fun, too. After all this, I finally have two chapters that I'm really psyched about--a good, solid foundation to start building from once again.

Change--"You better learn to like it"

When I was in the third grade, I got a C on an assignment I did for social studies. I was not used to getting C's, and I didn't like it. As I stood in line at my teacher's desk to get extra help on the paper, I said something like, "I hate social studies" to the friend in front of me. My teacher happened to be walking by me just then, and she took me by the shoulders and said, "You better learn to like it."

I remember thinking she was so mean for saying that, and for getting all in my face about it. But by the end of the year, I had forgiven her, and I remember giving her a beautiful bouquet of flowers as a goodbye present.

I was thinking about this teacher--Mrs. Armstrong--and that experience yesterday, when I found myself saying to myself, in the voice of a whiny third grader, "I don't like times of transition. That's why I feel so panicky and am crying so easily." And just like that, Mrs. Armstrong appeared in my head, grabbed me by my imaginary shoulders and said, "Well you better learn to like it."

She was right 25 years ago, and she's right now--I had to learn to like, or at least tolerate, social studies since I was going to have to take the subject for the next 10 years or so. And I'm going to have to like, or at least learn to handle better, times of transition because I'll be dealing with those not only for the next 10 years--but for the rest of my life.

Things are always changing. And as scary and anxiety-producing as that is, life would be awfully boring if we did the same things over and over again ala the movie Groundshog's Day.

So how exactly am I going to go from being a crying, anxiety-ridden mess to someone who calmly embraces not only change but also the time between now and when that change actually occurs?

I don't know exactly, and if you have any ideas, please please please leave them in the comments. But here are some of mine:

* I'm going to make a list of the things I need to do to help make this change happen.

* Then I'm going to delegate tasks to different days of the week. That way, I won't be relaxing at home, have the anxious thought to do X, Y, or Z, and make a mad dash to do it Right Now. I'll remind myself, I have a plan. Breathe.

* Whenever I get panicky, I'm going to acknowledge that I'm panicky, and that it's OK to feel that way. After all, change is scary, and, as Tom Petty so aptly put it, The Waiting is the Hardest Part.

* I'm going to exercise and meditate daily, the best stress relievers I know.

* And maybe I'll have a few more "conversations" with Mrs. Armstrong.

Inspirational Quote

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
-- Howard Thurman

I love this quote because so often, when we wonder what to do with ourselves, there are so many competing interests. There's what we think the world needs. There's what we think will make us enough money to survive happily. And then there's that thing that somewhere deep down in the dark depths of ourselves we know we really, really want to do. Howard Thurman manages to reconcile at least two of the competing interests--what the world needs, and what we ourselves really want to do. I guess how to make money will be for another post. *smile*

New Year, New Look, New Perspective...

It's been a long, long while since I've blogged. I won't bore you with the why's of that. I'll just jump right back in. And what better post to reenter with than one on New Year's resolutions?

I’ve always got a list of resolutions I want to accomplish in any given year, but this year, I’m focusing on just one: Stop Rushing. Though this is just one resolution, it comprises a few different parts:

1- If I’m already late, I need to just calm down and be OK with it. No fuming in the car. No pushing past “slow” pedestrians who are “in my way.” Just breathe, and resolve to leave earlier next time.

2- Not trying to fit so many things into a given time slot. For example, if I find I have five extra minutes in the morning before I have to leave to catch my train, I’ll think to myself, “Wow, that means I can start a load of laundry, make coffee, , and polish my shoes that I now notice are scuffed.” Then, suddenly, instead of being five minutes early, I’m fifteen minutes late.

3- Not try to fit so many things into my day/life. The examples I gave in number two? Imagine it on a larger scale as I try to plan out my day, my week, my life....

4- And most importantly of all, stay in the moment of whatever it is I am doing. I’m a planner, there’s no doubt about that, and there’s no use trying to change it, either. So I need to make a plan in the morning or at the beginning of the week of that day’s/week’s main goals, and then when I’m doing whatever I’m doing—be it laundry, work, walking Chloe, or relaxing, I need to actually be doing those things, instead of focusing on what I have to do next. But I can only do that if I've completed the first three steps of this plan. Because if I'm rushing around, forgetting to make time to go to the bathroom, there's no way I can find the presence of mind to be in the moment. None.

**OK, it's been a while since the new year started, and I haven't managed to banish rushing from the get go. I'll admit, I've found myself running for the train once or twice. But, as they say to any addict trying to give up her poison of choice, try, try again...

Hello David

As long-time readers of my blog now, one of my favorite tricks for getting to know my characters is to interview them. I plan to interview each and every character in my novel-in-progress before I even look at the Word document again.

To kick off this series of interviews, here's a talk with the main character's love interest.

[A very brief synopsis of my novel in progress:
Two years ago, Emily's sister, Carrie, killed herself around her 30th birthday. The two were very close, but Emily has no idea why Carrie would commit suicide. Emily hoped she might "magically" get some insight into what happened when she herself turned 30. When that didn’t happen, she realized she needs to be more active in solving this mystery.]

Me: Hello David, thanks for agreeing to talk with me.

David: Sure, no problem. What’s up?

Me: Well, I’m writing this novel you know, and you’re a main character, the love interest if you will.

David: Wow. Really?

Me: Yup. And so I need to get to know you better, in order for me to be able to write many many scenes with you in them. So, let’s start in the present and work our way back through your past. What kind of work are you doing now, and do you enjoy it?

David: I’m a scientist. I work at a lab at MIT. I study a really small [plant/organism], and how it is being affected by global warming. I love it because I get to spend a lot of time outside. Then, when I'm inside I get to look at these plain, almost ugly specimen under the microscope and see just how gorgeous they are close up--the way the cell walls are so orderly, the gradation in color of what looks to the naked eye just a plain brown. And of course there’s the larger picture of helping to figure out how plants evolve or don’t evolve in the face of global warming. That’s pretty fascinating and important stuff.

Me: Did you always know you wanted to study ecology?

David: No, I bounced around from major to major when I was in college. Marine biology, computer science. I guess I always knew I wanted to do something science-related. Actually the guy I’m working for now—Professor Paul Starnly—really turned me on to this. I took a class with him undergrad where we went out to the pond on campus and collected specimen of various plants and fish life and studied them back in the lab. I found myself checking in on my experiments on Friday nights, before going out with friends at the local pub. He caught me there one night and said, “Hooked, are you?” And it was then I realized I was. I left UMass to study at MIT for my grad work, and lo and behold, Paul ended up here too, so when I got my Ph.D., he hired me.

Me: And your social life, what’s that like here?

David: I play in a band with a few friends. We’ve done a gig here or there, but we really just like getting together, having a few drinks and playing classic rock tunes. One of the guys, Tony, writes his own stuff, so we play that, too. Other than that, I hang out at Hugh’s pub a lot. I like the atmosphere, and I’ve made friends with a lot of the staff and some of the other regulars.

Me: Like Emily.

David: Yea.

Me: Full disclosure: She’s the main character in my book.

David: No kidding. Well, Emily’s awesome, so I can see why she would be. Plus, with all that’s going on with her trying to figure out what the fuck happened with her sister…

Me: Yea, exactly. I’m going to get pretty personal here. Hope you don’t mind… But you’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?

David: (Blushing) Well, of course I have. Why else would I lend her my car, offer to accompany her to her crazy mom’s house to talk dirty family laundry shit. I mean, maybe I’d lend my car to one of the guys in the band, but I doubt I’d volunteer to spend my Saturday refereeing between them and a batshit parent.

Me: So why haven’t you made a move yet?

David: (Thinking) Well, first of all, we’re friends. I really like her. I don’t want to go to kiss her, have her reject me, and never be able to hang out the same again. I really can’t tell how she feels. I think I’ve made it pretty obvious how I feel, but she hasn’t given me any hints. And she’s clearly under a lot of stress now. What's she's going through has allowed us to get closer--I didn't spend a lot of time alone with her before I found her alone on the balcony of her birthday party and she told me about her sister's death. But she's clearly got a lot on her mind, and I don't want to add to her stress. So I think I’ll just lay low, be a good friend to her until I get a good sense of what she wants from me.

Me: (Smiling)

David: Wait! You know something! What do you know! What does Emily feel towards me!?!

Me: (Still smiling. Shrugs) You know I can’t say. Where would all the suspense be if I told you now? You’ll just have to wait and see.

David: (Lighting a cigarette) Fine. What’s your next line of inquiry then?

Me: Let’s talk about your previous girlfriends.

David: Awesome. (Inhales and exhales) There’s really only one you would need to know about. Laura. We dated for a few years
during grad school. Two and a half, to be exact. I loved her. Wanted to marry her. Then she got pregnant. I was actually kind of excited about it, even though the timing was awful. We were both grad students—she studied English lit. We had no money, a tiny, drafty apartment just a few blocks from the ghetto in J.P. But I didn’t care about all that. I figured we’d make it work, even if I had to take a break from my program for a while and get a job to save some money. Looking back, I think I was excited about it because it would cement us as a family, it would make Laura have to stay with me—I didn’t consciously know it at the time, but she was already pulling away little by little. I must’ve sensed that, or I wouldn’t have been so fucking excited for this baby to glue us together. She wanted to have an abortion. She gave all the practical arguments, our careers, the timing, our bank account. I just kept saying we would make it work. I even gave ideas how it could work. But she wouldn’t listen to them. Finally she said, “It’s my body and I’ll do what I want. I made the appointment for next week.” I stood there with my jaw open. Of course it was her body. Of course she had the right to do what she wanted with it. But we were supposed to be a team. We were supposed to make these kinds of decisions together. We were a family, albeit an undocumented one. I think I said something like, “I thought we were in this together.” And she just cried and shook her head. The next day, she had a miscarriage. A few weeks later, she had moved out. All’s well that ends well, eh?

Me: Oh man. That’s a tough breakup.

David: (Lighting another cigarette) Yup. Before and after her, there were girlfriends who lasted a few weeks, a month or two. But nothing serious. I just didn’t find anyone I liked spending time with as much as I had Laura. Until…

Me: Emily.

David: Yea. I even like driving in the car with her—on long trips, she always falls asleep, but before she does, we have interesting talks about the news, or sing along to bands I didn’t think anyone else had heard of. And even when she’s asleep, she’s still good company. I don’t know how to explain it. It feels a bit like it does when I go home to my parents house and need to escape the chaos so I take their dog--a black lab-- out for a walk in the woods. She’s good company, even though she’s not saying a word. That’s how Emily is when she’s asleep. Silent, good company.

Me: I don’t know how well she’d take being compared to a Labrador.

David: Yea, don’t mention that to her…

Me: OK, one last line of questioning, which you provided the perfect segue to: your family.

David: (Taking a big breath in and out). Yea, they’re as crazy as the day is long. My parents got divorced when I was 15, and then they recently got remarried. I guess they forgot how miserable they made each other, and everyone around them. He hit her, for fuck’s sake. He hit me! Apparently he’s gotten control of himself. Got into some self help program. Forgive me if I don’t believe him. I’ve got cigarette burns on my thighs that prove just how in control of himself he is…. And even if he has changed, I don’t have to forgive him for making my childhood hell. Hell, for making most of my life hell. Anytime I’m near someone and they raise their arm—maybe to signal a bartender—I flinch, and my memory quickly spirals back to one of the many times my father’s large hand smacked me across the face, sending me falling onto my ass. Then my date or whoever I’m with sits there questioning me about why I got so quiet all of a sudden, and I curse the bastard for intruding on my night.

My mom? I guess she was just lonely. Not exactly easy for an overweight, chain smoking secretary to find a man out in the Berkeshires, I guess. Or who knows, maybe she really thinks he has changed. Maybe she has a real connection to the good times she swears they had together, though I don’t remember them. Maybe she has a much larger capacity for compassion than I do. Or maybe she’s just an idiot. I try to think it’s the compassion, but there are times when I can’t help but wonder if maybe she’s just stupid when it comes to men in general, my father in particular. But I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt, so let’s go with the fact that she’s a much nicer person than I am.

Me: OK, on a lighter note: What’s your favorite color?

David: Green

Me: Drink?

David: Guiness

Me: Season?

David: Fall

Me: Author?

David: David Foster Wallace

Me: Sport?

David: Shrugs. I’m a fair weather fan. I’ll watch them all if they’re on and other people around are into them. But I don’t go crazy watching every game of any one team, until they’re in the finals.

Me: Place in the world?

David: Hands down, Arenal volcano, Costa Rica. Went there for a specimen gathering expedition with Paul one summer in college. Fell in love. The fog, the heat, the people, the coffee. These flowers called Touch Me Nots, which actually contract if you touch them, like a shy little kid shrinking behind his mom’s legs. So amazing.

Me: Thanks for your time, David. Good luck with you know who. (Smiling broadly)

David: That's the thanks I get? Being teased about what you know and I don't? Well, you're welcome I guess.

Back...hopefully for good!

It’s been a long, long time. I apologize....But I'm back doing some creative work, so I thought I'd share.

I started futzing with some plants a lovely neighbor gave me when I admired her garden. I sewed a slip cover of sorts onto the straps of my favorite backpack after the material there started ripping and fraying. And, last but far, far from least, I started playing around with my novel again!

First, I organized the outline. I did this by making an index card for each chapter. On the index card, I wrote down the key plot points that occur, which characters are in the chapter, and where the scenes take place. If I noticed holes in the plot (and boy did I), I went to the Word document for that chapter and made notes like MUST MENTION DAVID’S RECENT TRIP TO COSTA RICA or TAKE OUT PART ABOUT HUGH.

This exercise also helped me create a list of the characters and settings that take place in the book. My next step is to get to know each of those people and places in depth so that when I go to revise, I know lots and lots about all of my key players. You'll see one of my tricks for learning about my characters in my next post.

JK Rowling On Failure

I graduated from the Harvard Extension School the year JK Rowling gave this speech at Harvard's Commencement. I loved it then, and I love it now.



I hope these quotes from her speech give comfort to anyone going through a tough time (and, if you're not now, just save them for the next time one hits like a tornado)


*Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case, you have failed by default.

*You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift.

*Given a time turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a checklist of acquisitions or achievements. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people...who confuse the two.

*Life is difficult and complicated and beyond anyone's total control and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

And for anyone looking for inspiration to get your butt in the chair, and your pen on the page:

*Imagination...is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

"News that will edge your fiction-writing friends closer to suicidal despair"

I love Salon.com for it's snarky, edgy coverage of everything from current events to books to the latest in bad T.V.

This article about Tyra Banks' new novel will make you laugh through the tears you shed about how hard you have to work to get anything published while famous people just make a call, it seems, and get a book deal.

The opening line had be laugh/crying:

In the latest "news that will edge your fiction-writing friends closer to suicidal despair," television host, model, producer and Fake Hair Academy headmistress Tyra Banks has announced that she is penning a series of fantasy novels for her own Random House imprint, Bankable Books. To paraphrase Ms. Banks herself: Stephenie Meyer, kiss her fat ass.

And I Quote

I love this quote about writing a novel, from a Powell's Bookstore interview with Brady Udall:

When you read a book, and it's good and you love it and you're just amazed by it, it feels like everything was with intent. It seems like the writer had this amazing ability. I think people who aren't writers don't understand this, and writers don't really advertise this very much. But most of it's just bumbling around and making mistakes. You happen on something, and think, "Oh, this works. Okay." Then you throw something else out, and it's just this chaos that eventually you wrestle into order. Most of it's what I would call mistakes or errors of judgment that turn out well somehow. When I look back, even when I was close to finishing the book, I thought I could never make this work. But somehow I found a way.

Man, that gives me hope!

Birth Announcement

The latest edition to the Junge Literary Family is here!

My baby, a short story named Cartes Postales, came into the world via the New Plains Review a few days ago, and arrived in my loving arms today. After months and months of nurturing her, I'm so proud to see her in print and introduce her to the world.

(You can't read my story online, but if you order a copy of the journal, I'll gladly autograph it for you! If you don't live near the Boston area, message me at writerbug2006 AT yahoo DOT com to coordinate.)

Calling all poems/stories/essays about death

I might be teaching a course this fall on writing about death and grieving. I'm in the process of gathering up ideas for readings--ie published stories, poems, or essays that deal with the subject. Here's where I turn to you, dear readers: to pick your brains. Any idea are most welcome! (One caveat: they have to be relatively short, ie, it's not helpful for me to get a list of novels that focus on death or dying.)

Thanks in advance!

Loving, Coveting, Sharing

Susan over at the Fiber Farm Blog has a great recurring series that features items and articles she thinks her readers will like. She calls it Probably Something You Would Like.

Well, I, too, come across cool things and want to share them with my readers. So...I'm stealing her idea and calling it: Loving, Coveting, Sharing (LCS)

Here's my first LCS post! Let me know what you think of my finds--and add things you love, covet, and want to share in the comment field.
1.
I so could have used this shoot-through camera bag when we were in Costa Rica. It's basically a camera carrying case with one end uncovered, so you can actually use the camera while it's snug in its carrying case. One day we rented an ATV and drove all over crazy dusty, very pot-holed roads. I took pictures as we went, but I would have felt much more secure if I could have had the camera protected AND been able to shoot the awesome scenery.

Me and the ATV

2.
I am in love with this all natural face cream, The Soy of Life. My sister-in-law, who's an esthetician, has commented when she does my facials how much less dry my skin is since I started using it. It's pricey, but worth it. And it's a small business run by a husband and wife team. I met them at a local fair where they were selling their products and they were nice as could be.

3.
For a long time I've wanted to grow my little menagerie of animals (currently two dogs, a cat, and two bunnies). At the moment, I need, in a deeeep way, to simplify my life, not add to it. But a girl can dream, no? If I ever have the time and energy to take care of more creatures, I'd buy these two books on beekeeping and raising chickens

4.
This time of the year, I'm usually getting package after package from Michigan Bulbs, a great gardening catalog whose products never fail to impress. But, see my note above about simplifying. So I'm limiting myself to growing veggies and a few flowers from seeds, and otherwise just tending the stuff I already have.

(I promise I'll post some garden pics this weekend--the tulips I planted last year are gorgeous!)

Welcome Writing Space readers

I'm so honored that Kim Smith, over at Writing Space chose to highlight my blog this week. Welcome to all her readers! Pull up a chair, read some posts, and say hello in the comments, if you please. :)

Some good (scary!) news!

An essay I wrote about struggling with my body image got accepted for an edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul, to be published later this year!

The essay was one of those pieces of writing that came out quickly. I thought about it in the airport and during my plane ride to see my writing buddies in Canada last summer, and then when I sat down to write it was like the words and paragraphs were already there. The two writers I was with read and critiqued it, and with some minor edits, I sent it out the door. Lo and Behold, it got picked up! If only all writing/publishing were that easy, huh?

But now that I know it's going to be Out There., I'm freaking out a little. I reread the essay and frankly, I don't remember being so candid! Of course, it's that honesty that makes an essay worth reading. But man, do I feel naked knowing that other people are going to know all the crazy things I've thought about my body over the years.

It's a good lesson--In journalism/marketing writing, you hear all the time, "Know your audience" and "Write for your audience." In creative writing, I think the opposite is true. Don't think of your audience at all. Write for yourself, write your truth.

Otherwise, if you're anything like me, you just might take out the most interesting bits because they don't put you in the best light (or, to stick with the body image theme, they make you look fat). But it's those private bits that make an essay (or poem or story...)good and make people able to relate to it.

Exposing those bits, of course, is a very scary thing. But, as Elanor Roosevelt advised, "Do one thing every day that scares you."

I'm back...take two

I got back from vacation and then immediately took a sick leave from this blog, and lots of other stuff.

I'm feeling about 40% better these days, and I'm trying to find a balance between:
--Not doing too much as to start another stress/headache cycle
--Doing enough of the things I find fulfilling to not get depressed

Not an easy balance, let me tell you. Add an insanely stressful time at work into the mix and you have...well, let's just say I'm not having the best time of it. But I'm not having the worst, either. So, anyway. I'm hoping to be able to commit to blogging more regularly again.

***

I've been away from my novel for a few weeks now, and I miss it. I had to write something for my writers' group, which meets Thursday night. I'm not at all happy with the chapter I handed in--I'm kind of embarrassed really. It was really hard to get back into it after such a long absence--my writing muscles had certainly weakened. But at least the deadline got me going.

And I'm committing to try to write a scene a day for the foreseeable future. Just one scene. Just something. Just enough, hopefully, to get the wheels greased again.

***
I'm doing a lot of meditating these days and let me just say that that is brightest spot to come out of all this pain/stress sh*t. Meditating is such a truly wonderful practice, and yet one I find hard to fit into my life on a very regular basis. These days, it's part of my slowing down activities.

I can't read much on my commute because of the headaches/potential for headaches, so I'm listening to my iPod. Sometimes I put on music and just breath. Sometimes I listen to a guided meditation or a podcast of a talk given at the Insight Meditation Society or Vipassana Metta Foundation--both of which I highly recommend. They offer such insights into life, in a completely accessible, not-religiously-based form.

On the weekends I'm taking some time to read about a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program based out of UMass Amherst. I hope to be able to take a class based on the program in the near future. Reading about it and trying to do it on your own are one thing, having a group to do it with is something else...

Good night for now. Hope to see you again soon!

a break

I was completely headache free while on vacation, and now the headaches have come back with a vengeance. I'm working to get them figured out, but in the meantime, I'm taking a break from a number of "extras" in my life, and this blog, sadly, is one of them. I'm hopeful that I'll be back in the ole blogosphere soon. Hold down the fort for me while I'm gone!

I'm back...and so is spring!

I'm back from a (mostly) relaxing, (mostly) wonderful vacation. I swam in the Pacific and under a waterfall, surfed (!), hiked up an active volcano, saw monkeys and sloths, went bird watching, drove an ATV across the Nicoya Peninsula, and drank lots of delicious coffee. Pictures to follow.

While I was away, the clocks turned back, and winter released its grip on New England in an unusually gentle way. It is a very strange feeling to go away in the middle of a long, dark, cold winter and to come back to sunny day AND EVENINGS, crocuses sprouted, and lots of buds on the trees. In some ways, it's an amazing way to say goodbye to winter. In others, its completely discombobulating, like going to a movie when it's light out and re-entering the world when it's dark.

I got two new story ideas while I was away. That leaves me wondering what it is about traveling and being somewhere totally foreign that washes story ideas from the corners of my brain and brings them into the forefront. Do you feel that way, like travel is a good story generator?

In any case, I'm off to Starbucks now to get some of those ideas down on paper.