Ever since Brian and I started dating (9 years ago tomorrow!), I've loved the fall. The crispness in the air, apples, dusting off my sweaters--all reminded me of that wonderful period when you're going gaga over someone.
But since last year, the first feeling of coolness sends me into a panic. I feel claustrophic with the idea of being stuck inside all winter, dreading getting out of bed to feel the icy air on my toes, wearing layers upon layers everywhere. These thoughts bum me out so much that then I spiral into dwelling on all the things I'm not in love with about my life. Just don't think about them, you say? Yea, try not thinking about food the next time you're starving. Even if you manage to get your thoughts on something else for a moment, you still feel hungry, and that hunger colors your attitude.
I don't think there's any way around this experience, at least not this year. So instead of fighting it I'm just going to try to make the most of the days when I'm feeling awful, and try to shorten their stay by doing more of the things I love: knitting, yoga, walking/running with Chloe. And as little as possible of the "have to's" like freelance projects and even some of my school work. I'll trade a less-than-awesome September submission for some piece of mind. I'm also planning some fun events like a foliage day cruise. Wish me luck!