Dear Diary

As I mentioned previously, I went to see a show called Mortified recently, where people read from their teenage diaries. As expected, it was hysterically funny. It was also poignant.. The readers--men and women, people my age and much older--all wrote and read in different styles and different voices, but so much of the content was the same. It involved boyfriend/girlfriend drama, friends being mean to each other or leaving one another out, people and relationships changing with time... It struck me that adolescence is a time when we all feel so alone, yet in reality, we are all going through the same things.

When I was thinking about writing this post, I realized that that fact isn't just true of adolescence--as life goes by, many of the problems we face are things that feel so isolated, yet that many people face. I don't think there's much of a solution for this. Heartbreak and difficulties seem to inherently make you feel alone, no matter if you know that others are dealing with, or have dealt with, the same thing. But maybe keeping that thought in mind can help getting through that loneliness a little easier.

October To Dos, and NaNoWriMo

October has a special feeling to it now that I'm committed to doing NaNoWriMo again**. I feel like I imagine a mother might feel in the last month of pregnancy, when she's scrambling to get a bunch of things done before she has to devote all her time to her baby. (More on the parallels between writing and motherhood another day.)

So here are the writing/creative things I want to get done in October, pre-NaNo:

+ Finish the two baby sweaters I'm making for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's babies.

+ Get the short short "Marriages Mysteries" revised and send it out.

+ Get the longer short story "Trying" revised and send it out.

+ Send out my body image essay

+ Write a pitch for the Coupling column of the Boston Globe

+ Write a pitch for an article on simultaneous submissions and find some writing mags where it might find a home.

+ Write a pitch for Utube's first literary journal, Shape of a Box. (Love the concept!)

I'm slightly tired from just typing this all, but I think it can get done.

**I am not going to follow the NaNo rules 100%, as I did last year. I am in the process of completely rewriting my NaNo manuscript from last year. Basically I'm using the idea and the characters that came out of all that writing, but I'm not using the actual writing at all. I don't want to interrupt that process to start on another novel. So I'm going to continue working on my second draft of that first novel, with the goal of getting 50,000 words of it (re)written in November. In any case, November is going to be completed devoted to writing, and that's the point of NaNo, right?

What a difference a year makes

I'm dashing this off before running to meet a friend to see Mortified, a hilarious-sounding piece of performance art where people read from their teenage diaries. I'm feeling a little anxious about going--this is a new friend and I'm realizing more and more what an introvert I'm becoming and how these acts of reaching out unnerve me. That's the reason I'm taking the time to write this now, since writing is one of the things that reliably centers me (walking is the other).

Last year this time was the hardest time of my life. For reasons too personal to share here, last fall was a time filled with darkness and depression for me. I'm reminded so heavily of that time now, as the anniversary of this dismal period is upon me. For example, last year this time, I could not get up the energy or initiative to start up a NaNoWriMo group in Easton, even though I wanted so badly to learn more about the writing and arts scene in our new town. I remember hating myself for not having the focus to do that. (Luckily, Brian stepped up and did this without my help.) This year, on the other hand, I am so excited to welcome NaNo into my life, and I will be contacting our library soon to see about hosting some write ins.

There are other "fun" things, like hosting a French cooking class at my house and having my family over for Thanksgiving, that I look back on and realize how much energy they took up--so much more so than usual because pretending to be OK and happy sucks out whatever little life there is in you when you're depressed.

I know a few friends who are going through some tough times right now. Divorces. Difficult pregnancies. Stresses of kids and working. So I'm posting this now to say, Hang in there. This fall might be truly awful. But in a year, you might look back on this and say, "Phew. So glad that's over and I'm happy again." I hope you can.

Where I write

Check it out, I'm featured on the NaNoWriMo blog! (Along with my cat, Boom Boom)

[34 days until NaNoWriMo 2009!]

Writers' Group Feedback

As I posted on Friday, I had my first meeting with a novel writing group this week. I got great feedback on the first chapter of my novel (3rd+ draft of said chapter...). I thought I would record some of the edits want to make in the next draft here. I want to move ahead and get the 3rd draft of chapter two finished, so this post will serve as a reminder of what I took away from my groups' comments when I get back to chapter 1.

Opening: Move the section where Emily swings on the ledge of the balcony up, and the part about listening to the party noise below it.

Throughout: Watch the mentions of the rain. A bit heavy handed/seemingly metaphorical.

Scene with Hugh: Make it more distinct from scene with David. Maybe Hugh gets mad that she didn't tell him about her sister's death. He definitely should be aggressive and push her toward contacting Colin. Then the chapter will end with her not quite deciding what to do yet.

*******
typ Things to do
I want to end with a short list of things I hope to get done this week:

**Finish typing up long-hand version of chapter 2; then go back and write out longhand the end of that chapter.

**Apply to the two writers' residencies I flagged

**Revise Darfur and Marriages' Mysteries

How to: Make a Journal

I recently discovered that I love writing in small, spiral notebooks. I find them easy to carry, I like the thickness of the lines, and for whatever reason, I found myself more compelled to write in it than the pretty journal I bought.


That said, I wanted to pretty it up a bit. So I went to my old staple of a craft, collaging.

Brian and I happened to be at the dollar store earlier that day, and I found a book of vintage images there for, you guessed it, a dollar--originally priced $25!

I chose this image to serve as my background:


In my mind, the key to collaging is not using regular old glue. It leaves too many lumpy bumps. So instead, I water the glue down. I pour a puddle of glue into a disposable cup (this one recycled from Brian's breakfast), and add water until the glue is about the consistency of pea soup. I stir the concoction with a straw or coffee stirrer.

This time, I painted the glue onto the notebook cover using a corner of a sponge because I couldn't find a paintbrush.

Next I looked through my image book and cut out anything that spoke to me and added it to the background:





I added an envelope to the inside front cover to hold any random images/words I find inspiring and cut out from magazines or other media. Of course, I couldn't leave that envelope plain, so I collaged that with some of said inspiring words:



And tah-dah! A functional, interesting journal that I can't help smiling every time I write in.

Random thoughts on a fall Friday

I met with a new writing group last night. It's made up mostly of people who were in the novel writing class I took last fall at the Harvard Extension School, along with someone from my MFA program and a friend of one of my classmates. This is the first time I'm in a group that focuses solely on novel writing. We're meeting once a month, discussing half the groups' chapters at a time. I'm looking forward to giving and getting feedback about my novel from people who are reading it a chapter at a time, like any reader would. Plus, since most of us came from the same class, we have a similar style/vocabulary around workshopping, which made it feel like a comfortable fit from the get go.

+++++++++

My BCAE writers' retreat class was canceled due to low enrollment. While I am disappointed, I'm also grateful to have an unexpected chunk of time free. I plan to walk with the dogs in the woods near my house, go on a bike ride with Brian, and organize my shed into a gardening shed, instead of a holder-of-random-crap shed.

I think the low enrollment has to do with the cost of the class--they charge $90 for a 4 hour workshop, which seems like a lot, especially in this economy. I'm going to talk to them about changing the price, and also about altering the time/day from Saturday morning to a weeknight class that meets for 3 hours instead of 4.

+++++++++

I have a lot of photos of some creative projects I've worked on recently--a journal I collaged a cover for, a lantern I made, and a shawl I knit. Hoping to post some photos/how-tos this weekend.

++++++++
I just stumbled across this wonderful bookstore, located in Western Mass, Montague Bookmill. It's described as:
"a used bookstore housed in an 1842 gristmill, set on the banks of the Sawmill River,a few miles north of Northampton and Amherst, Massachusetts. The mill building is also home to a unique cafe, a gourmet restaurant, an antique shop, and an artists studio."

I think I have to make a trip west to check this place out!

+++++++
Lastly, I learned about this awesome website, VeggieTrader.com, where gardeners can post if they have too much of one crop and want to trade it for another home-grown plant. That way if you get way too many cucumbers, instead of letting them go to waste, you can trade them for tomatoes or something else.
It seems to just be getting started, and the more people who use it, the better it will be. So spread the word, please!

+++++++

Have a good weekend, all!

Book lovers unite!

Who knew there was such a thing as Book Blogger Appreciation Week? (Poetmom, that's who!) It's a week to "recognize the hard work and contribution of book bloggers to the promotion and preservation of a literate culture actively engaged in discussing books, authors, and a lifestyle of reading." A lifestyle of reading. I like that!

In honor of BBAW, I'm completing this meme. (Mostly its because I love talking, writing, blogging about books.) Let me know if you do, too!

You and Your Reading Habits

1. Do you snack while you read? If so, favorite reading snack? Sure. I snack all the time. No particular favorites though at the moment I'm addicted to cheese Pirate's Booty. (Getting a craving as I type...)

2. Do you tend to mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in books horrify you? I only mark certain books, like how-to books. Sometimes I will underline in fiction books if I feel the book has a lot to teach me about story telling. For example, I just bought a second copy of Ann Patchett's Magician's Assistant so I could underline how she shows the main character's emotions without telling the reader what she is feeling. I couldn't write in my first copy because Ann Patchett signed it, and writing in that copy would be sacrilege!

3. How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book flat open? Usually bookmarked with random paper, like ATM receipts.

4. Fiction, Non-fiction, or both? My first love is fiction, but I throw in poetry and non-fiction from time to time.

5. Hard copy or audiobooks? Both. There's nothing better than knitting and listening to a good audiobook by the fire on a cold evening.

6. Are you a person who tends to read to the end of chapters, or are you able to put a book down at any point? I read to the end of chapters.

7. If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop to look it up right away? No. I try to remember to do so when I'm by my computer/dictionary, though.

8. What are you currently reading? One Secret Thing, poems by Sharon Olds (Another shout out to PoetMom for suggesting this wonderful collection)

9. What is the last book you bought? Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. (I read a library copy first, and then bought it so I can underline and savor it.)

10. Are you the type of person that only reads one book at a time or can you read more than one at a time? I almost always have a few books going at the same time. Some are better commute reads, some at-home reads, etc.

11. Do you have a favorite time of day and/or place to read? Any time I can. I do cherish my commuter train reading time.

12. Do you prefer series books or stand alone books? Stand alone.

13. Is there a specific book or author that you find yourself recommending over and over? Ann Patchett, Timetraveler's wife, Bird by Bird by Ann Lamott

14. How do you organize your books? (By genre, title, author’s last name, etc.?) I guess by subject...Fiction books are generally all together, then how-to books, etc. But in general, I'm not very organized with my collection. I like the juxtaposition of serious books with funny ones, poetry with classical fiction.

To Dos

As readers of this blog know, I am an avid list-maker. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and so I am hoping that making and posting this list of things to do will calm me down/organize me. Here goes:

* Promote the writing retreat I'm leading at the Boston Center for Adult Ed next Saturday. (Speaking of which, please check it out, dear readers!

*Look at some old stories to see if they are ready to submit: Rest of June, Darfur, Marriages Mysteries (by end of the month)

*Type up the notes from chapter 2 (of my novel). Continue writing it. I would love to have a draft by mid-October.

*Submit, submit, submit.


And in the spirit of patting myself on the back, here are some "recently dones"

* Organize lists of journals to submit to, and journals I have submitted to and been rejected from (wah.)

* Send first chapter of revised novel to writer's group

* Send essay on body image to MFA friends for review

Hope everyone has a nice (if rainy, in New England at least) weekend!

Fall time

I've been thinking about time a lot this past week. The change of season prompted some of this. In the summer, time seems both very limited and in abundance. The days are so long, giving me the feeling of, why rush? There will be light for hours still. On the other hand, though, there are so many things I want to pack into each warm-weather day, knowing as I do that they are in short supply. So in that way, time feels very short.

Of course, when time is short, I feel rushed and overwhelmed, feelings I just don't deal with well. And one of the thing that often suffers from my lack of time is my writing. I was careful not to let this happen too much this summer, but I definitely didn't get as much work done on my novel as I hoped.

And so, as we enter fall, I'm left with the feeling of, will I ever get this novel done?? Part of the solution is to learn some patience. Another part is to use the shorter, cooler days of fall to hibernate a bit more, saying no to some social activities to make more time for my writing.

Themes
As these things go, once I started thinking about my time problem, I started noticing lots of other mentions to other people's time issues. Here's a paragraph from an article on Salon.com that I particularly liked:
"You may not feel ready to do something that is necessary. You do not control the timetable. This is evident when people die, are born, get married, move away, are fired, hired, change their minds: You are not ready for what the changes in the world around you require you to do. Nonetheless, you deal.
You don't have a lot of time. You don't get a lot of chances. People get ready, there's a train a-coming. Don't need no ticket, you just get on board."

I also realized that I've posted a number of times on time issues, so clearly this is a theme in my life.

Lastly, I came across this lovely quote regarding how to use time. I love it in that it applies to so much, not just farming and crops.
"It will not always be summer. Build barns."
~Hesiod

Happy fall!

Umbrella art

I'm heading away for the weekend, but I leave you with a picture of an art installation project that I found very interesting and inspiring. Amazing what you can do with everyday objects.


Click for more umbrella art.

braiding story lines

While I was away, I took the time to catch up on lots of issues of Writer's Digest. One of the articles I read talked about how, when writing a novel,you need three stories lines that run throughout the book. These story lines should be interwoven, just like the strands of a braid.

I found that to be a useful concept when thinking about my novel. I decided that the three story lines are:
1- What happened to Carrie (the main character's sister) that made her commit suicide.
2- Emily (main character) and David's relationship. Will they open up to one another and take a chance on love?
3- The sisters' family and early life, and the current relationships Emily has with her parents(or lack thereof).

Anyway, this video also reminded me of the idea of braiding, though it only uses two strands, and it's more of a study in contrasts and similarities than a true interweaving. In any case, I think it will be helpful to those of us thinking about story telling. And it's funny and about the Red Sox to boot.

Canadian Writers Retreat: In Photos, Part 1

One of the first things Tavi, Tracy, and I did when we got to the beautiful Haliburton, Canada, (no relation to that evil Haliburton company) was take a stroll through the Haliburton Sclupture Park. It was beautiful, and even the sculptures we didn't like very much were entertaining (see the beaver/lamppost picture).

Here's a slideshow of some of my favorites photos from that day. I'll try to make another slideshow soon that shows how we spent most of the week--writing by the lake. Here's Slide Show, part 1:

Sunday Scribblings: Poetry

This week's Sunday Scribblings prompt, Poetry, is so timely for me. One of the things I wanted to do with my week away was to read some poetry, and I have read, and listened to, Mary Oliver's beautiful poems.

I'm not quite brave enough to write and share a poem on the blog yet, since I don't, by far, consider myself a poet. What I want to do instead is share some of my favorite lines/phrases from Oliver's poems from the book Thirst.

*My work is loving the world.*

*the lovely meaninglessness of time*

*For a long time I was not even in this world*

*How to keep warm is always a problem, isn't it?*

*From the complications of loving you/ I think there is no end or return.*

*You have broken my heart./ Just as well.*

*In the city called Wait,/ also known as the airport,/ you might think about your life--/there is not much else to do.*

Beautiful, no? For more poems and writing about poetry, head over to Sunday Scribblings.

Alice Munro

I am such an Alice Munro freak, I once drove from Boston to New York to see her speak. And it was worth it, even though my car broke down and blocked traffic in the middle of NYC.

It's funny, then, that I'm learning about a new book of hers, Too Much Happiness, while I'm in her home country of Canada. And I am so happy to share this wonderful review published in Canada's Globe and Mail.

My favorite line is: "Most importantly, these stories are not asking for our praise, they ask for our attention. They...ask...for silence – and not an awed silence at that (though awe is certainly possible), but the silence that happens when you close a book and pause and continue with your life, less lonely than you were before."

That sentence sums up what I look for what I read, and write.

What I'm reading

I'm taking some of my retreat time to catch up on the articles I've been meaning to read. I thought I'd share some of them with you, dear readers. The first one I'm getting to is a commencement speach David Foster Wallace gave to Kenyon College 2005 graduates, sent to me by my brilliant friend Megan, who always passes along the best articles.

Some of my favorite quotes from the article:
"And I submit that this is what the real, no-bull- value of your liberal-arts education is supposed to be about: How to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default-setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone, day in and day out."

"There happen to be whole large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration." [This reminded me very much of some of the article I read in last week's Sunday Scribbling posts on the prompt "Adult"]

"The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this is exactly where the work of choosing comes in. Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don't make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I'm going to be pissed and miserable every time I have to food-shop, because my natural default-setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me, about my hungriness and my fatigue and my desire to just get home, and it's going to seem, for all the world, like everybody else is just in my way, and who are all these people in my way?"

"But if you've really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars -- compassion, love, the sub-surface unity of all things. Not that that mystical stuff's necessarily true: The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're going to try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship..."

"The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness -- awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: "This is water, this is water."

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive, day in and day out."

One of the heartbreaking things about this speach is how often Wallace talks about suicide, years before he killed himself.

Question for other writers. Please discuss.

When you're submitting your work, do you submit to contests with fees? If so, how much do you spend per year? How do you decide which are worth paying to join?

I ask because I tend to avoid contests with fees, because it seems that $10 or $15 contests could add up very quickly. But one of the writers with whom I am on retreat said that the two publications she has gotten were both through contests. And she admitted that she spends a lot on entering them. So I'm wondering what others do. Please comment.

On retreat

I am in beautiful Haliburton, Canada, on a self-directed writing retreat with two of my wonderful friends from my MFA program. So far, our days have been filled with:

Reading
Kayaking
Lunch
Writing
Meditation
Naps
Writing
Delicious and nourishing dinner
Writing/reading/listening to poetry on CD

Could life get any better?

I'm working on chapter 2 of my novel, and some other miscellaneous writing tasks. And I am more relaxed than I thought I could be. Pictures coming soon.

My new favorite quote

"A work of art is, first of all, work."

~Paul Engle

Creative gifting

One of my favorite creative outlets is gift giving. What better way to use your creative/crafty talents than by sharing them with the ones you love?

This is one of my go-to gifts for new parents: a diaper cake!


It's very simple to make, and people seem to love them. Here's a step by step:

1. Buy a pretty plate, preferably something with the design on the edge of the plate, so you can see it when the "cake" is on it.


2. Buy diapers, and roll about 20 individual diapers, tying each with a ribbon.



3. Then place the rolled diapers on the plate, standing them up longwise. Use enough of the rolls to cover the main part of the plate. Then tie another ribbon around the whole layer of diapers.

4. Repeat, making the second and third layers smaller, so the cake is tiered.

5. For the finishing touch, I use basket wrap, which you can get at craft stores. It's basically a cellophane bag that you place the gift in, tie the top with yet another ribbon, and then use your blowdryer to make the cellophane shrink to fit the gift. If you don't want to buy this type of wrapper, you could also use colored saran wrap.

You can also tuck little gifts into the tier ties, such as pacifiers or small toys.

Ta-dah! A gift that's sure to be a hit at your next baby shower.