Weekend follow up

Thanks to the so many of you who posted such heartfelt comments to my last post. I come back home with good news: I was able to live up to my intention! Not once did I wish or try to make B act differently than he was. And the result, of course, was that he seemed to feel more comfortable and therefore act less withdrawn. We didn't get into a single argument the whole time, either. (Not that we fight much in general, but stressful situations often lead to fights between most people, I think.)And another result was that I was better able to be myself and relax since I didn't have to worry about "managing" the situation.

But like any change, this one--coupled with a few other unrelated family changes that we evident this weekend-- did left me with a weird feeling a bit strange. I'm going to do some freewriting in my paper journal and hopefully get to the bottom of some of that. Thanks again! I really think it was putting my intention on paper that helped me stay conscious of fulfilling it.

Sunday Scribblings: The End

I'm spending this end-of-the-summer weekend visiting my parents' new house in New Jersey. I'm hoping this weekend will mark the end of some bad dynamics that have arisen in the past few years.

You see, my mom and husband have a bit of a checkered past. It's a long-ish story, but it boils down to a day a few Christmas's ago that I spent hysterically crying after my mom criticized a ton of stuff about my then fiancé—first to me, and then to him. She and my dad left, and we didn’t speak for a few days (which isn’t that long, but felt it. Time slows down when you know you’re ignoring/avoiding someone).

She has since apologized profusely, but once words are out there, you can’t take them back. So when B displays any of the tendencies she attacked him for (being too aloof, not wanting to spend every waking hour chatting with her, etc.), I get uncomfortable. I spend the whole time wondering if she’s judging him. And for some odd psychological (I’m sure!) reason, I tend to take all this discomfort out on B, wishing that he could act however it is she wants him to act.

So this weekend, I am setting an intention to not play into this dynamic any longer. I will just concern myself with my own feelings, and with making sure I am relaxing and doing what I want to do—not worrying about what someone else may or may not be thinking. And I definitely won’t get mad at B, no matter how he decides to act/spend his time.

Here’s to the (hopefully) end of all that! For more endings, click here.