My husband and I are in the process of buying a house--our dream house--the kind of house where I imagined myself doing all that crafting and writing. It's on an acre of land, so we'll have plenty of room for gardens and hanging out (and animals--lots of dogs, rabbits, etc!). It's big enough that I'll get a craft/writing room, where I can decorate as I please and leave yarn all over if I want to. (Of course I'll have to work to help pay for the house, but that's just a pesky detail.)
So now that I'm getting to a place in my life where I can really envision myself living the life I've dreamed of for so long, I find myself asking, Will I really be able to? Will I be able to devote so much time to things that give me pleasure? Will I be able to not feel incredibly guilty doing so? Will I be able to enjoy it without feeling like there are better things I ought to be doing with my time? (Like, say, saving the world.) Is it OK to relax and enjoy life? Will I just find something new to worry about?
I guess I'll find out in the months and years ahead. (I assume that finalizing the buying of this place, selling our condo, and moving will give me enough to stress about in the near future.) But in the mean time, the idea that I could be worried about not worrying is something I Just Don't Get.
For more writing on things that baffle us, check out this week's Sunday Scribblings.
19 comments:
I LOVE the sentiment in this post. You are so right to ask that question. If you really want to feel that feeling, go to the www.yarnharlot.com. She writes and knits fulltime! And her first book (that's four books ago) came right out of her blog. And she's funny. And she gets to travel all over the place doing readings. And she's real. And just a little warning: I have my own room for knitting/writing and well, you know how out of control my life is! I feel like I have the right space, but I don't have the time. If I had the time, I wonder what I would move onto as the next obstacle? Boo on me for sounding so negative. Bug, I wish you well in re-shaping the way you spend your time so that it aligns with what you want instead of with waht you think you SHOULD do. And when you figure it out, please share your secret with me!
worrying is so typical isn't it? I think your new future life style sounds wonderful! I hope you will throw away your worries and guilt and totally enjoy your life. :)
I see your point! I guess worriers will always be worriers, so yes probably you'll find something else to wonder about but, in the meantime, it's not like you can't enjoy it. I'm sure you will, I hope you will!
if your husband can afford to pay for the house and all that goes with it.. you should have plenty of time to pursue all of the above... i am hoping he makes the big bucks... not working is the best... i still do but only three days and i have never been happier.....
Well, I've had all of those advantages now staring you in the face, and I've tried writing, crafts, art, with a bit of success, but I still feel incredibly guilty if I'm enjoying myself at such activities (as I am doing right now by blogging).
I think guilt is something that's hard-wired into some of us. So do as I do and try not to feel guilty about all that guilt!
It is going to be ok. Go ahead and pursue your dreams.
watered down
Be wary that telling yourself you won't, doesn't becomes your reality.
Let go of the guilt, why can't your dream be everything you deserve ... plus more! Enjoy!
What a wonderful dream to have right within your grasp! You are so lucky!
Just enjoy your fortune! That is what real living is all about!
Gemma
You are allowed to enjoy your life, you know! What advice would you give a beloved friend who asked the same questions?
I'd echo everyone else's sentiment here. Why worry about it? You have worked hard to get to this point, and you should be able to enjoy it. It's not like writing isn't work, either--you just enjoy it more than you do other things, so that makes you feel guilty when you devote large swatches of time to it. But it IS work.
Embrace this time and opportunity.
I feel very torn right now. My first thought was how I could understand how finally realizing a dream could be a bit overwhelming - I would think it would be a bit like the family Christmas dinner, so much work and preparation to get to the big day and the hour before everyone arrives even though everything looks perfect and is perfect, I still think something is not right or will go wrong - but that is a dinner party with people I only see once a year, now you are talking about an opportunuty to live a life most only get to dream about. Do us a favor and enjoy your new opportunity. There is nothing more aggravating than to see someone waste an opportunity. In case you are wondering, that is my way of giving you a loving kick in the behind and saying, geez girlfriend I would like to have your problems!
I often need something to worry about, too. It looks like you'll just have to learn to embrace having nothing to worry about.
I'm a worrier and will always be one but you can still have your dream. Take a deep breath and jump! We only get one life. ;)
GOOD LUCK BUG
Once you utter 'the worst thing that could happen...', the onus of good fortune kinda slips away for a bit. Have fun!!
Thanks everyone for your kind comments/kicks in the butt. I'll be sure to drop by your blogs this week...
(And to answer one of your questions, I will be working full time to support the new house/lifestyle, as will my husband.)
One good thing you need to remember as you embark upon this adventure: this is not an irreversible decision. Hey, if you can't stand it--working and not having time to be craftsy--you can always sell the house, move back into a smaller place, and quit the job. But you just might love it.
Should be easier to relax in your dream house!
You'll feel all of those things and more once you move into the house. I remember having all of those emotions before moving into our current home.
You're ready for this change, and you deserve it.
oh i so enjoyed your post... your dreamhouse.. what a joy... and a craft room all your own... yesss... i will imagine thread everywhere... and pieces of material and thread... and the yard enough space to start a whole new world of enjoyment... i wish you everything you ever desired to do to unfold each and every day...
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