Submissions Fatigue

I am sitting here, submitting some stories to some journals, and wondering why I find this process so damn draining. I try to make it as painless as possible--Before "submission day," I create a list of journals I want to submit a particular story to, along with the pertinent information about how the journal prefers to accept submissions, the editor's name, etc. That way, when I finally have some free time, I can open the file and run quickly down the list.

In theory. In reality, it takes me hours to submit one story to eight journals. Why? Part of it is that I want to double check everything on my list, to make sure I don't screw up the email address, or whether a journal wants stories mailed and printed in a particular type of font.

Another part of it is that I find it emotionally taxing--No matter how "used" to rejection I get, I still don't enjoy sending my babies out to the slaughter. So I try to give myself frequent, short breaks so as not to overwhelm my system.

Anyone have a better system than the one I described? If so, I'd love to hear about it. Off to bed... wishing my stories good luck out there in the world!

Sunday Scribblings: Adult

I haven't Scribbled in a long, long time. But since I'm trying to reinvigorate my blogging (as I posted about here), I figured I'd return to an old favorite way to get my writing.

On this week's Sunday Scribblings prompt, this question about adulthood spoke to me the most: Are you glad to finally be an adult? I thought about this question the other day, when I heard some fellow commuters talking about their teenagers. The parents were saying how lucky the teens had it--they didn't have bills to pay or jobs to worry about. I shook my head and thought to myself, How wrong those people are. I will take bills and jobs and car troubles and relationship problems and all the other downsides of adult life over the many downsides of being a teen. The most prominent one in my memory? How poorly developed my sense of myself was.

With every passing year, I get to know myself that much better. And with that knowledge comes a sense of confidence that I just couldn't have had as a teenager. I didn't trust that I had the strength to get through the minor challenges that I barely think about now. I remember crying so hard when the Amtrak train I was supposed to get on was oversold and there was no more room for me. I was 19 or so, heading back to college after winter break. When the train stopped at Penn Station, even the doorways were crammed with people sitting on their suitcases.

As the train pulled away, tears of frustration filled my eyes. I didn't know what else to do. I pictured train after train coming into the station already full, and my being stuck in Penn Station forever.

Now, when things like that happen, I know that even if I can't get a fair or reasonable response from the people in charge (as was the case when I tried to get someone to explain to me how they could sell more tickets for a train than there were seats on that train--why have me make a reservation for a particular train if that reservation is meaningless?), I can take care of myself. I can buy a bus ticket instead, or rent a car. I can call someone to see if I can spend the night on their couch and catch a train the next day. I can sleep in the train station if I really have to.

I can also deal with the anger and frustration that comes with these situations by venting out loud or in my head. By knowing that when I get home, I WILL be getting a refund for that train ticket if I had to spend more money on an alternate mode of transportation. And I know that no matter what happens, I'll be OK. I'm smart enough and strong enough to figure something out.

As a teenager, I didn't know that about myself. And I wouldn't trade that knowledge for anything--not the ability to sleep in every day of the summer, not the ignorance of credit card late fees, none of it.

What are your thoughts on adulthood? For others' take on the subject, check out Sunday Scribblings.

A gardening slide show

I'm taking a multimedia journalism class, and one of the simpler tools we're using is slideshows. Here's one of photos from my garden.

New look, altered focus

I haven't been blogging much lately, even though I've been thinking about the blog quite a bit. Part of me blames Facebook--it's such a fast, easy way to share links and thoughts with people, many of whom would never venture over to this ole blog. [Readers, any thoughts on the redundancy between FB and your blog? Do you post certain things in one place, other things in another? Would love to hear your thoughts.]

I also blame lack of time for my recent un-blogging. Work has been crazy. As has life in general. Mostly in good ways, but still.

I have been thinking a lot about my life and what I want to do with it (For this I blame the many people around me who are having babies, a life-structuring activity that I am just not ready for.) The bottom line is that I want it to be a creative life. What does this mean to me?

* Writing. Lots of writing. Writing for fun. Aloowing myself to write about whatever subjects call me at the moment, and in the style that calls, too.

* Keeping a daily journal. This is separate from the writing bullet just because it's so important to me that it deserves its own space.

* Gardening. Surrounding my home with beautiful flowers and delicious plants.

* Animals. I'm not sure why taking care of my animals feels like a creative outlet to me, but it does. I think it has to do with the intimacy that animals give at such a low cost in terms of drama or emotional neediness.

* Photography.

* Crafts, like knitting, collaging, sewing, decorating the house.

* Yoga.

* Devoting the time and energy to the people in my life whose relationships I cherish, and not spreading myself thin on people who I don't deeply connect with.

* Getting out in nature.

* Dancing. Even if it's just in my living room.

* Volunteering. I realize this is stretching the meaning of "creative", but I do think that giving back to the world/your community is an important part of living a meaningful life. Which is really the purpose, for me, of deliberately living a creative life.

What does all this have to do with the blog? Well, along with the new look, I plan to alter the focus of the blog to reflect these various creative pursuits.

Hope you like the slightly altered focus and the very altered look. Please let me know what you think of both, but especially the color scheme. If anything is hard to read, I want to know so I can change it.

Thanks all. I'd also love to hear what things you think of when you consider your own creative life.

Good Quote

I feel like the blog has been a little quote heavy these days. I promise to post some pics this weekend to even things out. But I can't help but share this quote, which the ever brilliant Jon Stewart said back in January, but which I just heard today (thanks Utube!)

"If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values.... They're hobbies!"

Backsides

No, this post is not about people's bums. I'm talking about the back covers of books. I just read an interesting blog post by a book reviewer that talks about his preferences of what is found on the back cover of books:

"The method I endorse...is judicious quotation from the book itself. Not the first paragraph, because everyone can flick to that easily enough themselves. Just a really good, representative section - say, the beginning of a passage the author would read at an event - or a single brilliant line."

I agree that this method has a lot of value--it gives a sense of the prose, and if chosen well, it can also give a sense of the plot.

I also like when there is a synopsis that is clearly written to mirror the prose of the book. This works especially well for short story collections, since there is no one plot to talk about. For books of poems, I like to read a short description of the poet's style (ie, what topics she writes about, whether she relies heavily on one type of structure or another) and then to get an excerpt or short poem.

I wonder, how much say does an author get about the backside? Can she write the copy herself? What better way to make sure it is a good representation of the style found in the book itself... Any published authors out there, I'd love to hear about your experience with backsides.

Liar!

I recently read about a conflict between an author and her publisher regarding book cover images. It wasn't just a situation of artistic differences--the publisher chose a cover showing the face of a white girl when the main character of the book is black.
The author, Justine Larbalestier, explains the situation very well here. The basics: the publisher felt that books with black people on the cover don't sell well, and they wanted a photo of a girl on the cover, so they went with a white girl. Since the book is about an obsessive liar trying to mend her ways, the publisher didn't feel that having a mismatch between the cover and the character's description of herself was a big deal.

I work in publishing, so I understand that cover images are very important to a book's commercial success. And as writers we should all be concerned about our commercial success because, after all, we want our work to reach people and we want to get book contracts in the future. But c'mon. There are clearly ways to satisfy the needs of the marketers and the integrity of the book. (The sad fact that racism affects book buying is a whole 'nother matter.)

That said, one positive thing about this controversy is that people are talking about the book. I, for one, am going to read Liar, which I may not have heard of if it weren't for the ill-chosen cover.

Good Quote

I like this quote because it emphasizes the importance of setting goals, not just in reaching them. I'm going to try to remember these words next time I'm hard on myself for not getting everything done that I want to...

"A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at." Bruce Lee

Who knew Bruce Lee was so deep? ;)

Tri training and writing

So all this swimming, biking, running, and more swimming has knocked me out of any sort of writing habit. As my triathlon gets very close, I am feeling very frustrated about the fact that I have managed to fit into my weeks an absurd amount of workouts, but I cannot fit regular writing into my life with anywhere near as much intensity. I've thought about why and come up with a few theories:

1-Working out shows fairly immediate results. Within a few weeks, you lose weight, see more muscle, run faster, etc. Writing? Even with the most consistent writing practice, results (in terms of noticeable improvement or getting published) are few and far between.

2-There's much more social support for working out. I have lots of friends who will accompany me to the gym or go out for a run with me. Writing is so solitary--which I love, but which also means there's no peer pressure egging me on, and I can't kill two birds with one stone by writing while I chat with a friend I've been meaning to catch up with.

3- Similarly, there are many more people in my life who will pat me on the (sweaty) back after a workout than there are who will cheer me on for finishing a page of writing.

4-Did I mention the immediacy of results?

All that said, I am *pretty* sure that if I committed more to writing, I would see more results. So, even without the guarantee I wish I could garner from the writing fairy, I am going to commit to a writing routine in August. I'm still working out the kinks of the program, but I'm sure it will be just as grueling--and hopefully satisfying--as the tri training has been.

Good Quote

"It is worth mentioning, for future reference, that the creative power which bubbles so pleasantly in beginning a new book quiets down after a time, and one goes on more steadily. Doubts creep in. Then one becomes resigned. Determination not to give in, and the sense of an impending shape keep one at it more than anything."

~Virginia Woolf

Words I hope to remember as I work on revising the first few chapters of my novel and then pushing onward!

Revising on a Boston-bound Greyhound

Eek--it's been a while since I've posted. This summer feels very busy--actually, it's just a tad busier than I'd like, and I'm thinking that August will be the perfect pace. I'll be done with my triathlon training then, and hopefully relaxing will fill in the void that training has left. Plus, in August I get to spend a week at the Canada lake house, writing and hanging out with two of my favorite people in the world. Oh, how I am looking forward to that!

I have been getting a bit of writing done (not as much as I'd like--never as much as I'd like...). I printed out the two stories I've been sending around, and that have been getting rejected, and read them on the bus back from New York this weekend. Having not read them for a while, I came at them with the freshest eyes I have since writing them. I discovered:

1. The longer story (Cartes Postales) had a few typos! So embarrassing! I think what happened was the last time I edited the story, I didn't have the stomach to reread it purely for typos. Big mistake--and one I will never make again!

2. I found a solution to a problem that was plaguing Cartes--the transition from where the main character goes from wishing her husband were still alive to actually believing he is. Again, having some distance allowed me to find a simple solution. Once I make these small changes--AND PROOFREAD THE STORY--I'll send it out again.

3. The shorter story, Because We Can (a title that I might change), was cleaner--thank God! I still made a few small edits, though, and had a feeling that the ending wasn't quite working. But I couldn't figure out why. Then I read Lorrie Moore's recent story in the New Yorker and I had an idea-- the story needs some retrospection on the part of the main character. She needs to look back to be able years later to understand what the incidents of the story meant to her.

I journaled about this change this morning on my train ride to work, and plan on implementing it as soon as I can get some time in front of the ole computer. Then I'll PROOFREAD IT and start sending it out again.

Year in Review

I feel lucky to have a birthday smack dab in the middle of the calendar year. It gives me an opportunity to reflect every six months--in January at the start of the New Year, and in June at the start of my New Year.

I read back on this post regarding my Writing Action Plan for 2009, and I'm happy to say I'm on track: I'm working on the ole novel, and have 2 stories I'm sending out (and getting a lot of rejection notices on...). I sent in a query to NPR, and also got a rejection. But hey, I sent it! So I'm trying at least. I attended Grub Street's Muse and the Market Place (and will post about it soon... better late than never, no?).

I have also recently begun some volunteer activities, which I'm quite proud of. I'm going to start tutoring some ESL students in Brockton (a nearby town that has a big immigrant population) in July, and I've contributed time and seedlings to a garden plot whose produce will go to a food pantry.

Speaking of gardening, I'm taking time to do a lot of it. I'll post some pics (including one of a basil leaf as big as my hand!) as soon as I can find the damn cord that connects the camera to the computer.


There is still much I'd like to do in 2009:
1. Publish a story,
2. Get a second draft of most, if not all, of my novel
3. Do NaNoWriMo in November
4. Get one more story finalized and into send-out rotation.

But all in all, the first half of 2009 has been a mostly happy, mostly productive time, which is all I can ask for really.

Another (nice) rejection

I got yet another rejection, this one seems to be one of the more encouraging kind that said they enjoyed my work, but can't publish it. If I didn't already have more artistic designs for my home office, I could start wallpapering it with rejections. Sigh.

I think it's time for me to review the stories I've been sending out again, to see if I need to tweak them. I'll also hit up a few of my literary friends who haven't read these pieces yet to see if they have any feedback. If you have interest in doing that, dear readers, please leave me a comment and I would be delighted to email them to you.

Happy weekend--hope it's rejection free! :)

Two good quotes

I'll let them speak for themselves:


When I look at all the writers who have won coveted prizes and all the filmmakers and artists who have had success, what I notice is that they are the ones who actually filled out the applications for fellowships and sent their work around for critique and rejection; they are the ones who locked themselves in rooms and worked at it; they are the ones who did what was required; they are the ones who allowed themselves to be beginners and to begin at the beginning and do the next obvious thing.
~Cary Tennis of Salon.com

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." -- H. L. Hunt

Feeling disconnected from writing

I spent some time yesterday organizing my submissions chart, and doing so made me realize how disconnected I'm feeling from writing. I think a huge part of it is because I'm training for a triathlon. Crazy, I know. A friend talked me into it, and it's been fun, but time consuming. I am hoping that this training will make me feel super duper fit. That's my real goal. And finishing, no matter how long it takes me.

But anyway. Back to writing. All this training has taken time and energy away from it. I need to refocus, though, cause I'm really missing it. And I feel like (to use a sport's metaphor) I'm running in place in terms of my submissions and revisions.

I don't have a specific goal in mind here, other than to just get myself re-connected. That'll probably mean writing some pages of the novel (and hopefully get to 30 by June 30), taking a look at the two stories I've been sending out that have been getting rejected left and right, working on my Real Simple essay, and editing down a short short for submission.

How do you reconnect to writing (or your other passions) when you feel your attention waning?

When did you first realize you're a grownup?

PoetMom challenged me to enter this essay contest. And you all know how I love a challenge! The theme of the essay needs to be: When did you first realize you're a grownup?

I've been brainstorming, and I've decided to go with the time I took care of my parents while my mother was in the hospital. I say "took care of my parents" because my dad needed more attention than my mom, since he was so scared.

Here's info on the contest. Even if you're not going to enter, it's an interesting question to think about. Leave a comment about when you realized you were a grown-up.

When did you realize that you had become a grown-up? Perhaps it was when you
first paid taxes or met your son’s first girlfriend. Whether the experience was
difficult, funny, easy, or bittersweet, share your lesson and you could win.

Enter Real Simple’s second-annual Life Lessons essay contest and you could have
your essay published in Real Simple; win round-trip tickets for two to New York
City, hotel accommodations for two nights, tickets to a Broadway play, and a
lunch with Real Simple editors; and receive a prize of $3,000.

Next scenes

In the spirit of getting back into the 30 pages/30 days challenge, here is a list of scenes I want to write. I'm not sure if they'll make it into the novel, but they will certainly inform my understanding of the characters and backgrounds:

** Emily (the protagonist) and her sister Carrie as kids, at home before their parents got divorced. What was the relationship like between her parents? What did Em understand about it, at the time and in retrospect? What did the house smell and look like? How close were Em and Carrie as children?

** The family vacation that scarred Carrie (I won't give away how on the blog!). What does Em remember of it? What did that house look, feel, smell like?

** Emily and Carrie in Boston together as adults. They don't share an apartment, but they hang out all the time. What do they do together? What is there relationship like? What are their exchanges like?

I'm sure I can get 23 pages out of these!

Check in: A page a day in June

I love deadlines, even self imposed ones. Without a deadline, I get very little done. So I jump on the chance to do writing challenges, such as NaNoWriMo (the challenge is to write 50,000 words of a novel in one month. And it's why I was excited that BostonErin posted a smaller but similar challenge on her blog recently: Write a page a day in June.

I learned of the challenge on June 4, so I was already handicapped. Then, I was away at a science writing fellowship for 5 more days after that, which left little time for writing of the creative kind. But the road to not writing is paved with "life came up" type excuses, so I am determined to get back on track.

Today, when I had many excuses not to write (the most urgent being that I was hung over), I managed to get down 6 pages! Add that to the one page I had written before now, and I'm at 7--count 'em, 7--pages.

What's that you say? It's June 14th, which means I'm 7 pages behind? P-shaw. That's nothing. I'm a cram-at-the-end deadline-loving gal.

Podcasts on Writing

I just came across this blog, which is by a writer named Tim Lemire. It features podcasts of Tim reading mini essays on various aspects of writing.
I just listened to one about writing processes, and how even though famous authors may make it sound like there is one way to write (ie, using a yellow notepad while in bed at 6 a.m.), everyone has to experiment to find the method that works for them. I found it a fun and informative listen. Give the blog a try, and let me know what you think!

An essay in Tweets about working at the New Yorker

I seem to be on a New Yorker kick. Here's an interesting article by Dan Baum about his experience writing for the New Yorker, which ran as a series of Tweets (which is a medium I have yet to understand the point of, but that's a topic for another post). I love hearing about writers' lives and experiences, and I was especially interested since the New Yorker is, of course, the creme de la creme. Baum also very generously posts on his web sites the article queries that got him into the New Yorker and other mags, and the ones that got rejected. What a model of helping aspiring writers!