Beginning again

What is it about beginning a story that is so scary for me? It's like every time I start over I have to beat down the same fears: fear that the page will remain blank, fear that anything I do put down on it will be utter crap, fear that my last story was as good as it gets--and that wasn't even very good.

Why don't I think these thoughts when I start a new yoga class, or begin a new hike, or start cooking a new meal? I'm guessing it's because I care more about writing than just about anything else. And because my ability to do it (to whatever degree) seems very mysterious to me. I know how I do yoga--I practice and my muscles get strong and then I do it better. I assume that writing is the same way (as I wrote in my F*ck Inspiration post, below). But I don't actually know that. I haven't had a personal trainer tell me it's so in 100% of the cases.

Is this starting fear the same for everyone? Or are you afraid of another part of the process?

Sunday Scribblings: Change

What a fascinating Sunday Scribblings prompt. I plan to write a New-Year-themed post later in the week, so today I'll just write about the concept of change.

I think change is wonderful. It can be scary, but honestly, how boring would life be if it weren't constantly changing? And to take that one step further, how boring would you be if you weren't constantly changing? Life is all about taking on new challenges, and, what's harder for me, allowing yourself to fail.

There is a great article in this month's Yoga Journal about the concept of starting over, and how when you want to make a change in your life, big or small, you have to allow yourself to start over as many times as it takes until the change sticks. This attitude really helps me (and maybe other perfectionists out there?) because when I realize I didn't stick with my plan, I can allow myself to notice it, and then start over. So after I don't go to the gym for four days, I don't wallow in the fact and get down. I just say, today I'm starting over, and then go. Ditto for my more cerebral goals, which I find the hardest to keep, such as stay in the moment, not judging myself, and allowing my feelings to be no matter how much I don't want to feel them.